I feel I am always struggling to catch up, pulling an all-nighter to finish a last minute project, or combining three or four blog posts into one because I forgot to do them when they were assigned...
It's not that I'm trying to blow off school or only do enough to get by...I just feel empty. In all aspects of my life, I feel empty. To get awkwardly personal, my long distance relationship of three years ended in February because neither one of us know what we're doing or where we'll be after school. Three years done because we had not planned out a future. I definitely saw him in mine, I wouldn't waste three years on someone I didn't...but because neither one of us know where our work might take us, we split. I've never been a planner because when I do make plans they never work, but this has made me reevaluate a lot of the decisions I've made and how I've been approaching it all. I'm the queen of poorly thought decisions. I will spend 20 minutes trying to decide to buy a pair of shoes, and twenty minutes to decide to go to grad school. It doesn't add up and it's brought me to this place that I don't know if it's where I'm supposed to be or not. I hate to say it, but I jumped into grad school because I wasn't ready to leave and was too scared to do anything else. Now I'm thinking to myself, there's got to be something that's a better fit for me than this. I'm not just talking school wise, I mean personally, socially, mentally, etc. I love USC, the Media Arts Dept, and everybody there...but I don't feel like I contribute anything worthwhile to my classes, & the more I think about it, the worse I feel and really don't want to even try. My confidence has hit a low point and I've been letting my fear and personal feelings get in the way of what I need to be doing. I've been focusing on things I shouldn't and I know that if I refocus myself and push to put new, real effort into my work, I will feel a lot better. I'm just sorry it's taking me so long to realize what is worth time and effort and what is not.
Now that I've gotten some things out of my system, on to the blog assignments!
The website thing: Looking at quarknova.com, I think it gives a very good representation of Simon's personality. That's a good cue to follow so people possibly looking to hire you have an idea of what you're like...my only issue is, how do I put my personality into a website and it still look professional and not...kitschy, or whatever you may consider my "style." Regardless, I must resist putting fruit or candy buttons on my page. The sidebar with the film links constantly there is great. It's very easy to navigate and keeps the viewer focused on the work. It's simple and effective and allows the viewer to focus on the work.
Now, how do I know if something I completed is successful?
In the case of my short film I'm finishing, I'd say if someone laughed at all the moments I intended to make them laugh. But that's not the type of answer you're wanting, I suppose.
suc·cess·ful
Adjective:
-Accomplishing an aim or purpose.
-Having achieved popularity, profit, or distinction.
I would consider something successful if it was entertaining and done well enough for people to want to see more of my work...or you know, get me a job. Or even just interesting enough that people would watch it again and share with other people. Winning an award would prove success, too.
The one video of mine that I would consider the biggest "success" (as in, it did what I wanted it to) is my video "Me as Katy Perry as Kathy Beth Terry...in the Library." I made it to garner attention for a Katy Perry look-a-like contest and it definitely worked...seeing as I didn't actually win, but the sponsor sent me to meet Katy anyway...I call that epic success...even though the production quality is dirt.
I've had others fulfill their purpose and consider them sucessful, but that one was the biggest that gained attention from an audience that I did not have any personal connection to.
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